Blue-and-Dog on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/blue-and-dog/art/SMV-Lyra-s-Arrival-1-375583150Blue-and-Dog

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SMV: Lyra's Arrival 1

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Description

Calliope/Sailor Lyra arrives at Luna Tower for the event!
I kept having to go back to my copy of The Dragon Can't Dance to double-check Calliope's dialect....
Speech bubbles by :iconnekochuni: and :iconasifalittlezonked:
Adam Warren Font by :iconshonenpunk:
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2000x2500px 1.05 MB
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Comments5
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thelettergii's avatar
Woohoo, going on a SMV-comic-critiquing campaign, don't mind me! I'm going to try and comment on every comic page in the group.

First things first, I think you could cut down your full view size a little bit, maybe to 800 or 900 pixels. No need to change every single page now, just keep that in mind for future comics!
You've set up the story well, using dialogue to show and not tell. Sometimes it's hard to tell who's talking though, so I would recommend adding tails to the speech bubbles like you did for the first panel. The font you chose is all right, but because there's a lot of empty space in your bubbles, the text looks a little cramped. See if you can change the text spacing options in your art program.
While we're on the subject of dialogue, I think that you could push Calliope's accent just a bit more. I don't really catch that she has one. I don't think you need to over do it, but just some more slang would really add to her character.

Art wise, kudos on attempting some backgrounds. I would love to see more though! On my screen, some of the lines (like the swirls in the first panel and the tiles on the left) are very faint and they could stand to be a bit darker. Since you haven't colored the backgrounds in and the backgrounds themselves are very faint, it does look like Calliope and Vega are standing in white space still. I would recommend coloring in some panels and backgrounds with pale greys, just to give the backgrounds more substance.
I do think your lineart gives off a rushed vibe, even if that's not the case. Vega's birdcage is a little wobbly and asymmetrical, as are Calliope's legs and feet. I really want to encourage you to take more time with your lines on making them as smooth as possible, because that will do wonders with your art. Don't feel like you have to get pages out for the sake of getting them over with. I know SMV's deadlines aren't very long, but I would rather see one well done Quest than five rushed ones.

Overall, a good start. On to the next page!